Sunday, August 9, 2009

Confused 'Bring Back Kirra' Supporter Starting to Really Miss the Superbank.

One of surfing's most enthusiastic “Save Kirra” proponents has been sighted on Greenmount Hill in a state of great uncertainty, sources report today.

Mark Britmore spent upwards of half an hour leaning dejectedly on the railing of the popular lookout, which affords a sweeping panorama from Snapper Rocks, through Rainbow Bay, Greenmount and through to Kirra.

Where once the three foot swell would have provided Mr Britmore and others with a snappy righthander from Snapper through to Coolangatta, the Tweed Heads surfer struggled to identify a section worth paddling out into.

“This isn't what I had in mind when I called for a return to the good old days” complained the 34 year old self-employed mechanic. “I wanted all-time Kirra AND The Superbank but now I've got farken nuthin'.”

Friends and family claim they first noticed a lessening in Britmore's conviction in early July after a run of frustrating sessions in the Coolangatta area.

“Originally, Mark was quite the evangelist about the need to bring Kirra back,” Mr Britmore's father, Stan, told The Goldmine.

“Should have seen him after the Australia Day 'Save Kirra' rally and paddle-out in January – came over for dinner that night draped in an Aussie flag, sunburnt and drunk, and told us all how criminal it was that the Superbank had effectively buried surfing's priceless jewel under tonnes of sand, and that he wouldn't rest until Kirra was restored and everyone was getting the shacks of their lives.

“I didn't have the heart to point out to the lad that if Kirra ever did come back, there wouldn't exactly be the same sense of camaraderie that everyone felt during the Oz Day paddle-out, and he could basically look forward to a Superbank-sized crowd getting condensed into single, tight take off zone.”

Stan – a lifelong Coolangatta resident who's surfed the area for four decades, continued:

“I also didn't want to prick his bubble by pointing out that the nostalgic testimonials delivered by the celebrity locals – where they described Kirra as providing the 'most incredible barrels of their lives' – well, shit, some of em musta been fricken 12 years old back then, so their recollections are undoubtedly distorted by the passage of time and the wide-eyed wonder of youth.

“Call me a cynical old bugger,” the 60-year-old chuckled, “but one minute the superbank's the greatest thing since sliced bread, the next it's the villian and boo-frickedy-hoo-cry-me-a-river for Kirra... let's not forget that Kirra'd sometimes only get epic a handful of times a year anyway, and generally needed a shitload of swell to get moving if it wasn't angled in just-so from the east.

“Nah, I've kept those thoughts to meself ... and it's been good for Mark, at least he's got a cause to get behind. But I think he's in for a bit of a letdown when Kirra shapes up again.”

“He's also been getting a bit wistful about the good old days of the Superbank. That didn't take long.”

Sources close to the Britmore family say that Mark's seven-year-old son Tyler could be the biggest victim if the reborn Kirra doesn't live up to expectations.

Until recently, Tyler's bed-time stories have been exclusively devoted to the mythical break.

“Daddy told me stories and he swore they were true – how every day at Kirra was better than the day before, that the water was actually lemonade, the rock groyne was made of chocolate, swells came in million-wave sets, and the Pizza Hut employed fairies who'd fly out the back with slices of super-supreme so you could stay out and surf all day with no-one but your bestest friends ever.

“Sometimes when Daddy would tell me these stories he'd start crying and I'd ask him 'why are you crying Daddy?' and he'd tell me it was because he thought that maybe Kirra was too beautiful for this world.”

When pressed for further comment, Mark Britmore held his hand up to the wind, groaning “FARK! Now it's goin' farken northerly!” – and wondered aloud about forming an action group to raise awareness about the injustices of spring.


  1. My thoughts exactly. Too easy to say it was sooo good, yeah it was, but sooo fickle and now would be so crowded. All the dreamers saying we need it back wouldn't have a shit show of getting a wave there today. The superbank could have been surfed most swell days of the year, even two foot was fun, I haven't even bothered to look at the place for a couple of months now. Fuck was I the only one who got a tube out there? I don't think so, had the best surfs of my life along that stretch with multiple takeoff points. I knew this bring back Kirra thing would be the end of it. Its alright for the big name pros to get behind Kirra because they are away most of the year surfing sick waves and can afford to fly back the couple of times Kirra is on. BRING BACK THE SUPER BANK.