Monday, April 13, 2009

Jury of Peers Unconvinced Teen Surfer Was Actually In Barrel.

MANDURAH, WA – Two days after 13-year-old weekend surfer Danny Kincaid claimed to have been 'fully shacked' at his local break, the facts of the matter seem no closer to hand.

The furore started at 10.35am local time, when Danny and friends were surfing a reform peak out front of the surf club, where many are junior members.

Kincaid paddled back out to his friends after taking a small inside wave, and excitedly described the tube ride no-one had witnessed.

14-Year-Old Rob Teale – respected among Kincaid's circle of friends as the guy who does the best reos and hacks and stuff – immediately disputed Kincaid's claim.

“Bullshit Caidy!” Teale is quoted as saying.

Onlookers report a heated exchange between Kincaid and Teale, with Kincaid protesting the authenticity of his barrel by describing how "The lip came right over my head. I wasn't like, super deep or anything, but for sure the back bit of my board was fully slotted and that.”

The agitation flared back up that afternoon as Kincaid recounted his barrel to some non-surfing friends at a nearby McDonalds restaurant. Once again, Teale provided an opinion to the contrary – this time stirring up support from others who'd been out there that morning.

Critically, Kincaid's best friend Tony Mcallum expressed doubts, asking Kincaid quietly “Mate, are sure you didn't kinda imagine it? Like, did you have your eyes open? Why didn't you jump off like you always do?”

Realising he had little support, Kincaid began to negotiate a compromise, reasoning “Look, it was definitely a cover up, there was stuff going on everywhere. I reckon if you were on the beach and a bit back I would have totally disappeared for a sec. Maybe not all of me at once, but, y'know, it would have been like 'where's Caidy? Oh, there he is'.”

By the end of the McDonald's session, Kincaid's ride had been downgraded to 'full-on head-dip'.

Friends say they will keep a close watch on Kincaid on return to school after the Easter break, lest he revert back to his original barrel claim.

“Betchya he tells Kath Dobson he got fully barrelled”, observed Teale “He's got the hots for her something shocking.”

1 comment:

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