Monday, April 13, 2009

Specialist Cameraman Rushed South for Sunny Day at Bells.

TUESDAY 14/04 TORQUAY VIC – Unseasonally mild conditions at Bells Beach have seen a sharp rise in exposed female skin and thrown Rip Curl Pro Webcast Camera Crews into a panic.

As the mercury climbed above 25 degrees halfway through the second heat of the day, Melbourne Uni student Sandra Baker exclaimed it was 'too hot' for the pullover she was wearing, and shocked onlookers by watching the next two heats dressed in nothing more than a bikini top, cargo shorts and oversized sunglasses.

Witnesses report up to a dozen other females at the scene discarding unwanted articles of clothing.

The webcast crew's communications jammed as cameramen struggled with this decidedly un-Victorian visual element.

“We thought we were prepared for anything” one contest organiser said, “But it's three hours in to the webcast and we still haven't capitalised on a single cleavage opportunity.

“Best we could manage was an incidental shot of an average chick in denim shorts as we filmed Kelly walking down the stairs. It's a disaster.

“The guys are trying their hardest but Vicco blokes just can't pull a good pervy shot to save their lives. It's unknown territory for them.”

At a hastily-organised crisis meeting, organisers rolled the dice and put a call through to legendary Gold Coast Webcast filmer Dave Quinlan – known best for his roving beach work at the Quiksilver Pro at Snapper Rocks.

“There's a Jetstar flight direct from Cooly leaving in 20 minutes and Dave will be on it. We've chartered a chopper from Tullamarine to Bells, so after lunch we should start to see some quality chick pics filling the void created by the lulls and the mundane commentary,” said a clearly relieved webcast director.

“Dave's got what it takes – he can linger on a set of boobs without making it feel creepy, and his arse visuals have a quiet sense of dignity, so we can't wait to see his work with the crowd down here.”


Stop Press: In a move reminiscent of 1979's famous Surfabout Airlift (where competitors were flown from Sydney to Bells for the day) Dave Quinlan has reportedly swung by Greenmount Beach on his way to the airport and grabbed half a dozen brazillian females off the beach to take to Bells “as insurance".

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